the-average-gatsby:

imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers

so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off

kelekelo:

megapyon:

ʖ haha got ur nose

( ͡°_ ͡°)

whoredinarygirl:

when my mom was pregnant with me my sister decided she didn’t want another sibling so one day she took my brother’s toy cars and lined them by my mom’s room’s doorway and tried making my mom fall on her stomach
my sister tried killing me in the womb

darkbeautymag:

Photographer: SurenProPhotographyDesigner: Teodora Atanasov TeddyJewelry: Artash JewelsMakeup/Body painter: Liz GopwaniHair: Hair Styles AmyModel: Sami Goldsmith-Siever
  • me: my arm hurts
  • mom: it's the computer
  • me: my eyes hurt
  • mom: it's the computer
  • me: i have a nosebleed
  • mom: it's the computer
  • me: i have a fever
  • mom: are you sure it's not the heat from the computer
  • me: im pregnant
  • mom: its the computer
  • me: i feel down the stairs & hurt my tailbone
  • mom: the computer pushed you didnt it
im-super-im-natural:

Groomsman reacting to this newly married man’s ring. 
Best wedding photo ever.
blvckgoldenn:

That one friend that acts out when boys are around

bethmai:

congratulations on reading the book before it was made into a film

you win: nothing